Yours Forever Read online

  And then the tsunami of pleasure rolls over me in waves causing me to buck violently under the weight of it. I fall into the abyss of pleasure, giving myself over to it completely. It feels so good to get a release, to forget about everything, to ignore the loneliness for just a moment. I need this badly…

  No, actually this isn’t what I need. What I need is a man. Maybe not a man to love, that might be asking for too much but a man to crave, a man to have a wonderful night of fun with. Just one wild night of throwing caution to the wind.

  Maybe that’s what I’ll get on the cruise… here’s hoping anyway.

  Chapter Two - Stephen

  “It’s going well, Mom!” I declare with a giant smile on my face. “I’m really happy.”

  “I’m happy for you,” she replies cautiously. “I just wish your dream didn’t have to take you half way around the world. New Zealand misses you, that’s all. We all miss you, it isn’t the same without you here.”

  “I don’t think New Zealand does, I think you do,” I chuckle, ignoring the comment about everyone else. I don’t want to think too much about my life back home right now. I’m not in the best frame of mind for it. “And you know I’d do it from home if I could but there are just so many more opportunities in America.”

  Okay, so maybe I’m not fully living the rock and roll lifestyle I thought I would be when I left home for the US. I naively assumed that I was good enough on the guitar to get a music contract right away. I thought I’d be playing Madison Square Garden to hundreds of thousands of screaming fans. I imagined I would be living the dream.

  It didn’t take me long to be brought back to Earth with a thump. No one get sighed right away, people don’t have it easy. Everyone needs to struggle to make it to where they want to be in life. I’m just in the struggling phase right now, that’s all. I know I’ll make it big, I just need to be patient.

  “So, when does the cruise start?” Mom asks, genuinely interested. This is why I always ring her with news first, even if it’s small news. She always makes me feel good about it.

  “Tomorrow actually.” I glance around the dive bar I’m in, watching the clientele thin out now that my set has finished. Inside there’s a hope that just one of the people who came to watch me knows someone important in the music biz. It hasn’t happened yet, but it has to happen eventually. “Once I’m finished up here I’ll head home to pack. I’m looking forward to it.”

  “These rich people are good to get on side. One of them will have connections.” Mom has the same thoughts as me. “I bet you’ll come out of it with everything you ever want.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  I catch a glance of my reflection in the mirror and my hand automatically goes up into my hair to smooth it down a little bit. It got a little ruffled while I was up on stage. While I can rock the ‘just got out of bed look’ well, I can’t stop trying to make myself look better. My green eyes sparkle brightly, but even I can see a little bit of mischief within them. I know that as soon as I’ve had a drink I’ll be trouble… and despite the thinning crowd there are a lot of beautiful women left behind.

  Hey, I might not be living the rock and roll lifestyle, but I get plenty of attention and I might as well take advantage of that. Maybe these girls never really know me, but it helps to ward off the loneliness.

  “Right, Stephen, I have to get going.” I can hear Mom yawn. “The time difference is killing me. I need some sleep but I’ll speak to you later.”

  “Yep, bye.”

  I hang up the phone rapidly and lean across the bar to get the attention of the foxy red head who works behind the bar. She smiles at me and slides across to take my order happily.

  “You were good up there,” she flirts while batting her eyelashes at me. She presses her arms closer to her chest revealing her plump, ample cleavage to me. I don’t directly look, but I can spot a tattoo of a snake travelling down there which I wonder where it ends. “I’ve always had a thing for boys in bands.”

  “Oh yeah?” The rest of the room is instantly forgotten, including all the other women in it. The red head with the tight waist has all of my focus. “Well that’s lucky because I’ve always had a thing for foxy barmaids.”

  She giggles and slides a pint my way, without even asking me what I want. She doesn’t charge me either which is an awesome plus. I pull the glass up to my lips and take a massive glug while staring intently at her. She’s definitely up for it, she wants me bad. She’s hot enough for me to want her too.

  This is why the cruise will be a good thing, I think happily to myself. There will be women a plenty there.

  “So, what does a sexy chick like you get up to when she isn’t at work?”

  The girl blushes and glances at the ground. When her eyes travel back up and I see her through her eyelashes my cock strains in my trousers. Fuck it, I wanted this chick too. She was hot and available, what more could I want?

  “I’m finishing in an hour,” she practically whispers as a reply. “Why don’t you stick around and find out?”

  “Hmm.” I glance at the clock. Of course, I want to but I’m very aware that I have to pack for the cruise tomorrow. “I would, but I’m afraid I’m off on my travels tomorrow.”

  “Back home?” She looks disappointed. “Australia, right?”

  “Actually, it’s New Zealand.” Everyone always mixes up my accent. “But no, I’m away for a little while for work.”

  The girl glances around the bar, noticing that the few people scattered around seem very happy for the time being and she reaches out to take my hand. As she bites down on her bottom lip and she gives me a cheeky grin, I know exactly where this is headed. I’ve scored without even trying. I don’t even know her name… that doesn’t usually happen.

  I slide my fingers into hers and grin. The strain in my pants gets even harder, I’m rock solid as she drags me behind the bar and into the stock room around the back. We’re surrounded by barrels of beer and lager, it’s quite cold and smells weird but who gives a shit. Without even thinking too much about it, I crash my lips into the girls and I press her up against the wall behind her. She squeals with glee and giggles, absolutely loving it.

  “Ooh, you don’t hang around do you?” she gasps as I move my mouth down to her neck. I kiss her all over, moving slowly towards her collar bone and that incredible tattoo that runs down her body.

  I rip her shirt apart, tearing off one of the buttons on the way down but the girl doesn’t care. She groans louder, loving the heat of the moment, and she tosses her head back allowing her hair to flow further down her back. I grab a handful of it and tug it playfully as my mouth finds her breast and her nipple.

  Thank God for girls who don’t wear bras.

  Her nipples feel like Heaven in my mouth, I suck and lick and tug with my teeth as my hand dips into her jeggings and slowly into her panties. The lace brushes against my fingers which is a pretty awesome sensation… but not as good as the intense wetness I find when I drag my hands along her slit.

  “Oh shit, Stephen,” she gasps eagerly. “That feels good, but I need you to fuck me.”

  Nice… I like a girl who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants! It feels good. I hate the ones who whimper and purr but don’t actually tell me what they like. It makes things that much more exciting.

  Taking her command, I yank her trousers down to the ground and kiss her while she kicks them all the way off. The lace panties remain, but that’s okay because I can push them to one side. They don’t need to be gone for us to do what we’re about to be done.

  As I dip my hand into my pocket to grab the condom out, the girl has other ideas. She grapples with my zip and pulls it down, dragging my jeans with it. My underwear comes too which frees me from my material prison. I spring to attention which causes her to gasp with glee. Her eyes widen at the sheer size of me. I love this reaction, it always comes… girls love the girth I have to offer them.

  “Fuck,” she whispers while running her hand up and down
my shaft. “You are something else, Stephen.”

  I push her off me, eagerness getting the better of me, and I tug the condom over my length. My fingers tremble, I’m too keen for words, I’m about to lose my shit if I’m not careful.

  Next, I have her pushed against the wall and I buried myself deep into her with my fingers curled around one side of her underwear. She feels so fucking good as her walls contract around me that my eyes close with happiness. I don’t know the woman’s name and now I’ve forgotten her face too. She’s just another notch on my ever growing bed post. Maybe it’s a shitty way to live my life, but all the women are as eager as this one so we’re all consenting adults here.

  As the pleasure started to claim her, I grabbed her legs and raised her off the ground. She gasps and screams as she buckles and thrashes, getting her own release. I held her so one she wouldn’t fall and two so I could get in deeper. I wanted to lose myself completely and judging by the way my thighs were shuddering it wouldn’t be long until I did.

  “Oh fuck,” I grunted as the pleasure built up. It was a pressure, swelling and building up, and any minute now it would explode…

  Fireworks burst, waves of desire crashed over me, I got full satisfaction with this mystery woman. As I dropped her to the ground and we both stood panting next to one another, a cold sensation settled in the pit of my stomach. Much as I loved my life there was always a small element of guilt that came with it. I was always very open and honest with the women before we had sex, but I couldn’t seem to stop it from coming.

  “I suppose I better go,” I commented quietly, hating myself for banging and leaving. I wouldn’t be so quick to go if I didn’t have stuff to do. I would at least stick around for a drink. “Erm, like I said I have a trip to pack for. Sorry I have to go like this but…”

  “No, don’t worry about it, hun,” the girl replies with a bright smile. She tugs her jeans on with ease, acting as if this is normal. Maybe it is for her, maybe this is the sort of thing she does all the time. Maybe she’s the female equivalent of me. “It’s all good. Maybe you should just come back here when you get back. We can go for round two.”

  “Sure, sounds good.” I know I won’t. I have no intention of setting foot in this bar again unless I have a gig to play but there’s no way I will tell her that. There’s honesty and then there is just being a dick. “I shall see you soon, okay?”

  “Yep, bye, Stephen. It’s been great having you around.”

  I leave the cellar rapidly, needing some fresh air. I hang my head low as I walk through the bar, I don’t want everyone to stare at me knowingly as I leave. I just need to be in my own space now, to prepare for the next stage of my life. I have the cruise tomorrow, which I’m hoping will change everything for the better.

  My big break is coming, I just know it. I just have to be patient and wait for it.

  Chapter Three - Tia

  This is good, I think to myself as I glance my eyes around to drink in the scene surrounding me. This cruise is really good for me, I’m glad I went for it.

  Luxury doesn’t even begin to cover what Princess Cruises offers, it’s incredible. The bedrooms are better than what most five star hotels offer, with mattresses so comfy I could sleep forever, duvet covers and pillows that offer just the right amount of softness and warmth. Plus, the shower is wonderful. It’s a proper wet room that I can really relax in. Any tension in my muscles is long gone by the time I get out of it.

  And that’s just the bedrooms. Up on deck there are endless shops I can spend my days in, with absolutely everything on offer any person could ever want. It’s almost as if they cater to every single individual person which is weird since its in the middle of the ocean. There’s even an art gallery and a library which is amazing. I love it. I also really like the swimming pool outside, which is great to swim in during the sunny periods.

  It has everything.

  So, why do I still feel so lonely?

  I slam my notebook shut, feeling awful about myself. I came here to relax and to write, but I haven’t actually managed to get any writing done. I keep telling myself that I’m really enjoying myself but the truth is I still feel like crap about myself. I’m missing direction, I need some focus. I just don’t know where to find it.

  I sigh loudly and slump my head backwards. My eyes fall closed and I try to find some comfort in the space I’ve got in my alone time. In the middle of the ocean I don’t have any signal on my phone which means I can’t communicate with anyone at all. On the plus side, it means I don’t have to see how wonderful and fabulous everyone else’s life is, but on the negative side I feel far too cut off from the world for words. It sucks.

  And the other people on the cruise, none of them are like me. Most people are older, settled in life, happy to join in with the lame activities that the staff have to offer such as crafts and book clubs. None of them are young and alone, looking for someone to connect with…

  Well, hello!

  All of a sudden, as if I can feel the prickle of someone looking at me, and my eyes snap open. I prop myself up onto my elbows and I glance around. My long dark hair falls in front of my eyes which I blow to knock it out the way, to reveal… him.

  I don’t know who he is, but he looks just like the man I have been picturing in my fantasies over the last few days. He started on my last day of college and continued ever since. The blond haired, green eyes giant who could devour me in a heart beat. As I look at him my heart literally stops beating for a moment and a heat consumes me. He is everything!

  I glance back down as I feel my cheeks blush, but soon it’s as if a magnet it pulling my gaze back upright in an instant. As I look again, I realize that he isn’t quite like the man of my dreams, but close enough. He doesn’t appear to be covered in tattoos, and although I can’t see too much it seems that his eyes might be more blue than green but he’s close enough.

  Oh, my God.

  I don’t know what to do with myself. He shoots me a smile that lights up his whole face, but I don’t think I give it back. I don’t know what my face is doing actually, I feel all weird and tingly inside. It’s as if I’m having an electrical shock, it prickles and races all over me. I even have to sit up a little straighter because I’m trying to disguise the emotional turmoil that I’m currently experiencing.

  What do I do? I think frantically. What can I do?

  The sight of this man inspires me in a way that nothing has done for a very long time. I want to talk to him, I want to grab onto him to explore this magnetism further, I want to explore the fantasies that are now circling my mind at an even more rapid speed than before. I want my night of passion, damn it! But for some reason, my mojo is no more. I guess I lost my confidence a long time ago, probably at the same moment I found Liam kissing the blonde in the bar, and I haven’t recovered it. I just didn’t realize it until now.

  I need to go and speak to him, I don’t want this opportunity to pass me by. He’s got to be, by far, the most interesting person on this cruise and I need to utilize that before I lose my mind, but I don’t know where to begin.

  Just go and say hi! I try to convince myself. He smiled at me, he must at least see something in me, just go casually past him and say hello.

  Despite the fact that the idea of doing that fills me with an intense pit of dread, I ignore my labored breaths and I push my eyes upwards to see him again… but he’s gone. Ice cold upset consumes me and I feel like a damn idiot.

  Of course… he was just being friendly. Why would he be interested in me? I’m just… boring.

  The stark realization that I’ve becoming boring in my loneliness hits me hard. Maybe that’s why my friends didn’t care too much about leaving me behind. Over my final year of college, I got so wrapped up in ignoring the future that I became self centered and dull without even meaning to. That is something I need to change. I need to get out of this pit of misery and I need to start looking forward.

  Without much thinking about it, I grab my notebook ba
ck up again and I start scrawling. Inspiration hits me and I write, I use the feelings that I have just from seeing the mysterious fantasy man to start creating a story.

  ‘He’s there, standing in front of me, the man I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with. Or if not love, then lust. With his hot, muscular body nearing mine, my heart leaps and dances about in my chest. There’s a fire in the pit of my stomach, a burning that races all the way down to my center. If I don’t have him soon then I might just die.”

  Hmm… not too bad.

  I haven’t ever written anything steamy before, I guess I always assumed that was something that more confident writers did, but I don’t think I’ve done a terrible job. I’m sure it’ll need some work, I bet an editor would go crazy, but it’s something. It’s mine. I’ve started writing again and that’s all that matters to me.

  “Miss, would you like a drink?” one of the waiters asks me.

  He has a tray of delicious looking, fruity and undoubtedly very strong cocktails in front of me that make my mouth water. I really want a taste, but now that I’ve started writing I think it’s better to have a clear head. I shake my head and return my eyes back to the paper… but then it hits me. All writers drink, don’t they? The real ones anyway. That’s what I’ve heard at least. They need it to keep them going and to help the inspiration to flow… that’s what I want too.

  “Actually, do you know what…” I call out to the waiter calling him back. As he spins around I get a flash of a penguin because of his black and white uniform, which nearly makes me burst into laughter. “I think I will have one.” I bite down on my bottom lip and examine them all. “The pink one please.”

  As he hands it to me, an excitement bursts through me. I wrap my lips around the straw and suck back a huge sip, relishing the strawberry taste. It’s one of those cocktails that’s so well made I can’t taste the alcohol in it at all. But I know it’s there from the way that it makes my head spin.